WEEK 2 of 7 Habits for Year 2024 – (BE PROACTIVE) Stephen Covey’s Book Review
In the second week of our 8-week journey through Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” we discussed the first habit: Be Proactive. We were honoured to have an enlightening dialogue with our guest – Maryann Mbat, who shed light on the profound impact of proactivity on personal and professional growth.
Self-Awareness and Breaking Free from the Social-Mirror
Proactivity is more than just taking the initiative. It’s about recognizing our responsibility to shape our lives, decisions, and responses, independent of our external conditions. Covey emphasizes the unique human ability to reflect on one’s thoughts and actions, a trait that sets us apart from the animal kingdom. This self-awareness enables us to choose our responses to the stimuli around us, thereby defining our reality.
We were able to explore how the “social mirror” often distorts our self-perception, reflecting not who we truly are but how others see us. Covey eloquently describes this phenomenon: “Our view of ourselves is like the reflection in the crazy mirror room at the carnival.” He suggests that these reflections are more about the projections of others’ insecurities and less about our true selves. This can be a mix of their perceptions, paradigms, and even their insecurities. Covey challenges us to look beyond these reflections and to understand that we are not solely products of our environment or genetics but of our choices and responses.
Proactivity vs. Reactivity
Proactivity is defined by Covey as the responsibility we hold for our lives, where our behavior is a function of decisions, not conditions. “Proactive people recognize their ‘response-ability’—the ability to choose your response,” Covey explains. This contrasts starkly with reactive people, who often absolve themselves of responsibility, attributing their behavior to external factors.
Maryann, during the webinar, highlighted this distinction with real-life examples, illustrating how proactive individuals choose their actions based on values and not on their environment or conditions. They focus their energy in their Circle of Influence, working on what they can impact, which in turn, magnifies their influence.
The language we use serves as a mirror to our mindset. Reactive language often relinquishes responsibility, with phrases like “That’s just the way I am” or “There’s nothing I can do about it.” In contrast, proactive language embodies empowerment and accountability, focusing on what can be controlled and influenced.
A key concept discussed was the Circle of Concern and Influence. Whether facing direct, indirect, or uncontrollable problems, proactive individuals recognize that the first step to a solution lies within the circle of influence – things you can control, not things you cannot control – circle of concern.
The Challenge and Application Suggestions
To bring these concepts to life, we proposed a 30-day challenge recommended in the book and encouraging participants to be committed to it as they act within their Circle of Influence, embracing proactive responses over reactive ones. This includes being a light, not a judge; setting positive examples; and learning from mistakes.
The review of the first Habit – Be Proactive lasted for 45 minutes and the message was clear: embracing proactivity is embracing the power of choice. It’s about recognizing that our responses, not our circumstances, define our reality. This realization is pivotal to personal growth and effectiveness.
Watch the Replay here:
Don’t miss the next review (Habit 2).
To achieve your Career and Personal Development Goals, join the Upskill and Connect Village – visit https://www.thedigital-librarian.com/upcoming-events
WEEK 1 of 7 Habits for Year 2024 – (An Overview) Stephen Covey’s Book Review
Last weekend marked the exciting start of an 8-week journey reviewing the powerful lessons in Stephen Covey’s Book – “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Published in 1989, this influential book has sold over 25 million copies worldwide and shaped many people’s thinking on effectiveness and success.
Kicking off the first day of the review, the host Sylvester, started by highlighting some of the extensive praise that the book has received from experts in various fields. For example, we read out the endorsement stating that the book can help you “live permanently in the winners circle” – emphasizing the profound impact the habits can have.
After setting the stage, we summarized the structure and core concepts of the book, which provides a strategic sequence – first mastering self-discipline and then using that foundation to improve relationships and interactions. Renewal ensures you continue growing. Or as Covey put it, private victories precede public ones. The four major parts of the book:
- Part 1 covers paradigms and principles
- Part 2 deals with “private victories”
- Part 3 focuses on “public victories”
- Part 4 is about renewal
An important distinction made early in the book is between personality ethic and character ethic. As we learned, personality ethic is the idea that success just comes from image, techniques and behaviors that can be quickly learned. But character ethic focuses on integrity, humility and other virtues that take time to cultivate.
The book emphasizes character ethic as the superior path, whereas much of society embraces personality ethic. As Sylvester noted, we cannot simply learn to have integrity – it must be built over time. This ethic aligns with the “inside-out” approach recommended in the book.
The Power of Paradigms
According to how the author compared paradigms to maps – if your map does not accurately reflect the territory, you will keep getting lost no matter how hard you try. Likewise, we can be ineffective if our mental maps and assumptions about life are flawed.
To illustrate this, we carried out an engaging exercise in the book, with a classic sketch that can be seen as either a young or old woman. By first asking people what they saw and then prompting them to try seeing it from another perspective, he demonstrated how strongly our perceptions can be shaped by conditioning.
This ties into the notion of paradigm shifts – those sudden “aha” moments when we finally start looking at something in a new way. The book emphasizes being open to paradigm shifts rather than being stuck in old thinking.
Principles vs Paradigms
Connected to this is the distinction between principles and paradigms. Principles are like lighthouses – timeless natural laws that provide guidance. Paradigms are our individual perspectives that can always be expanded, evolved or shifted. We took a few moment to read a story from the book about the Captain of a ship who kept insisting the lighthouse move out of his way, not understanding it was rooted in unchangeable principles.
This story highlights that we cannot force or fight the principles of life, only align our paradigms with them through better understanding.
Inside-Out Approach
Because flawed perceptions are often the root issue behind ineffective behavior, the book advocates an “inside-out” approach to change. This means focusing first on self-mastery and private victories before trying to change outward behaviors, and of course, this has to be tied into the structure of the 7 habits.
Overview of the 7 Habits
Mr. Grandee Ughoton a Guest Reviewer summarized what each of the 7 habits represents:
- Be Proactive – Take responsibility for your life rather than blame external factors.
- Begin with the End in Mind – Define your values, goals and direction to ensure you live intentionally.
- Put First Things First – Prioritize and focus on the vital few actions that matter most.
- Think Win-Win – Adopt a mindset of mutual benefit rather than zero-sum competition.
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood – Communication is more effective when you listen deeply rather than react.
- Synergize – Tap into collaborative creativity to find combined solutions.
- Sharpen the Saw – Commit to continuous self-renewal mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
The author emphasized that habits 1-3 make up the “Private Victories” dealing with self-mastery, while 4-6 are the “Public Victories” dealing with relationships. Renewal ensures you have continuous growth.
Application Suggestions
Throughout the first day’s review, we focused not just on explanation but on application. Stephen Covey guarantees results for those who apply the material consistently over time.
To start the application process, the host – Mr. Sylvester Ebhonu (The Digital Librarian) suggested two initial exercises:
- Identify your own paradigms in life by considering how you view your work, relationships, challenges, communication style and so on. See if you can shift perspectives.
- Make a habit over the next week of trying to understand situations from multiple points of view before reacting. Think win-win.
- He also strongly encouraged everyone to obtain their own copy of the book to fully engage with the material during this 8-week journey.
In summary, the first day reviewing The 7 Habits provided an inspirational introduction to the key ideas and frameworks that will be explored in more depth over the coming weeks. The concepts of paradigms, principles, private victories and habits have already sparked great discussion and reflection.
Watch the Replay here:
This program promises to be a transformative opportunity for all those who engage fully with the principles taught. We will keep you posted on each week’s outcome and how to put these Habits into practice!
To achieve your Career and Personal Development Goals,
join the Upskill and Connect Village –
7 Habits that will transform your life in Y2024
Books by Stephen Covey have touched millions of lives, and among them, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ stands out. It steers away from the prevalent personality-centric narrative and, instead, champions the character ethic.
Sylvester Ebhonu (The Digital Librarian) is set to kick off the 8-Week Review of the book, providing insights and an overview of the transformative habits that viewers and participants can adopt to thrive in the year 2024 and beyond:
Habit 1 – Be proactive
Habit 2 – Begin with the end in mind
Habit 3 – Put first things first
Habit 4 – Think win win
Habit 5 – Seek first to understand then to be understood
Habit 6 – Synergy
Habit 7 – Sharpen the saw
To achieve your Career and Personal Development Goals, join the Upskill and Connect Village – visit https://www.thedigital-librarian.com/upcoming-events.
Summaries will be posted on my blog: https://www.thedigital-librarian.com/blog/
